It is like a mediation.

It is like the form. Following along with it. Putting in my own two cents sometimes. Not as if I’m telling any story. That might happen, I suppose. Trim the fat. Almost with a horror. It just does what it is doing anyway. You have got to do this. There’s a light way and a wrong way. Are you hearing me ok. It is not important - It is what is happening.

There’s a moment when you’re out and a moment when you’re in. Once you’re in, you’re in. And buddy, you are in. You are on the beam and it isn’t going outside, to be leaving you outside. There are faster ways of doing things, but this is good. Laying one thing down then another. You have seen their tricks of their trade. You have been in their pressure chambers. There are words and they’re going to come out of you. The emptiness that fills you. No distraction.

There are images. Wait until you start to seeing them. That will blow your mind. They will come out in words like white elephant. Heaven’s gate. The doorstep. Underneath the carpet. It’s suggests something to you. Do me a favour, Yolanda, give me something now - peanut butter would be fine. I’ll pick up something later for the both of us. Oh you are more interesting than something I forgot. Dissing her kissing her missing her suggesting her again. Look at them. She’s good. I just want to know, can we rely on you. Seattle bus. Once you’re on the verge of sleep.

That’s our show!

I can keep on going. It is interesting. I am getting somewhere with it.

Doctoring. Deal with it absolutely let me know. I don’t know if he can do it still. He’s doing it right now. Yes, but what about tomorrow? There a chance I might forget I admit but I doesn’t matter. It’s the practice.

It’s like dreaming in the open. Deliberately absurd.

You can do it. Fortunately forever. I’m telling you something every minute by the feeling of the operation. Graphic code. Armin. You start glancing up at them. Colour if you can. Here’s a thing with it down so to get it out. Clever.

Praised be something. 3

Given the state of things. Listening for wood blocks. Looking around corners. Smelling something unfamiliar. Smelling stronger than you were before. Everything smells stronger. It is not unpleasant. If you couldn’t see it going down the drain then you didn’t read your book or watch enough tv when you were not doing homework. World is a given string. Ok to start again. No you are too old. Go into the pasture. I am singing this for you you know. Ok gravy. Beats me why he is so bushed all the time. It’s that dreaming hand always in his pockets making changes in the document and all of that, shuffles when he walks. There’s a tack in the heal of his shoe and it’s scraping up her floorboards. Did she say he could come in here. He is always with her boyfriend all the time. And he didn’t bring her flowers. No one brings her flowers. She doesn’t like it when they bring her flowers. What do they think she is, something out of tv from a hundred million years ago? Everywhere there’s history that doesn’t sign its name.

Even though a lot of it is misery there is always thinking going on.

It is not an effort to be thinking. It is always going on. In fact, it is rather more an effort to be not thinking. Is not-thinking thinking really after all? What is thinking really. Is thinking really anything. It is something that’s for sure. It is something else, for sure. But what is it really. Is there really such a thing as thinking or is there really only dreaming and then also talking to yourself.

What is dreaming after all? Dreaming - is it really only thinking. But it’s all imagination. Maybe it’s imagination.

Dreaming when you’re seeing it and being like you’re living it is dreaming when you are asleep for the most part. Right now when your memory is working and remembering the things you said and did, is that dreaming but you do not see the images so well and you do not feel that you are living and you’re being it so well because you’re living and you’re being what you're doing with your eyes open seeing and you are directing yourself doing things like washing up or writing something for somebody who is paying you to do it or is not.

It is not even really that I can but I do and I do just keep on thinking which is dreaming which is memory and planning and anxiety and hoping and believing and it sometimes is ideas now and then and opinions about things and remembering some story or another that you read or heard or watched or you're making up. I am often making up a story. It is all in a way narrative and stories and ideas and some criticism too going on and on and on like a river flowing. Sometimes it’s a torrent and it pulls you under and you drown. So to speak.

It does not even matter what it is. Unless that’s a part of the story. If you’re going to be stoping, well then stop.

Well of course you are not your thinking. But of course your thinking is you.

Is there really any such a thing as imagination?

What is making something better? How can anything be better or be worse or especially be not quite good enough. How can anything be something that is on its way to being something that is better.

How can anything be anything and being that it is a thing how then can it be that it can then be something else? How can anything be anything and how could it be something else. And then how could it be something else again.

Depending on who’s owning it.

How can anything be something someone’s owning? How can anyone who’s owning something keep it to themselves. When it’s taken how then is it taken, and is it. How then is it owned by somebody else and is it then something that is owned by the two or more of them. Anything can be something that’s said to be something that is owned by somebody, and someone else can say they own it too. There can be disputes. Only when somebody who’s in charge is enforcing who’s it is can the dispute then be said to be taken to be settled but it isn’t always really settled even then. That is how somebody can be saying something has been taken from them that they own. That is how somebody can be saying that their ownership of something has been stolen from them. Do they still have the thing even if they do not have ownership of it.

What is owning anything?

Someone can be not having what they own but they still are having it the ownership of it.

Someone can be saying that their ownership of something has been taken from them even when they still do have the thing that they say they own.

There is staring into space and it is agreeable. There is doing dishes and it sometimes is agreeable and sometimes it is not.

Sometimes it is not agreeable to do the things you have to do. There are things you have to do that you do not care to do. That is called responsibility. That is being owned by something that is ruling you to do it, or by someone who is ruling you to do it. Someone ruling you can be yourself ruling you, and that is very interesting because of course it does mean that you are not only you simply you in just one sense. When there’s thinking. When there’s thinking, and there’s always thinking, there is always being you in some sense of being you.

Sometimes when I’m thinking and the thinking that I’m thinking is exciting, then I want something to eat. Usually a snack. But am I ever really thinking. Am I ever really not thinking? Is there any thinking that I’m thinking. Could it be that there is thinking that I’m thinking? When you’re stopping what you’re thinking then you could be thinking what your thinking and that’s thinking that is thinking. Maybe only thinking that is thinking can be thinking that is stopped.